3|17|25Hello, Gem. How’s your heart? I pray it’s thriving. Let me tell you what’s been on mine.
When Life Feels Like A Mess x K.M.
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Yes, Gem, we’ve all had those days; piles of laundry waiting to be folded, dishes stacking up, and a bedroom that looks like a tornado touched down. But when the mess starts to feel overwhelming and never-ending, it’s often more than just procrastination. It’s a reflection of what’s going on internally.
If you’ve ever struggled with depression, you might know the cycle all too well: feeling unmotivated leads to a cluttered space, which then makes you feel worse, trapping you in a loop that’s hard to break.
And I’m not making this up, science backs this information.
Researchers have found a strong link between mental health and the physical environment. A 2010 study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found that people who described their homes as “cluttered” or “disorganized” were more likely to feel stressed and depressed than those who saw their homes as “restful” or “restorative” (Saxbe & Repetti, 2010). Their cortisol levels, aka the stress hormone, were also consistently higher.
Another study in the Journal of Environmental Psychology found that clutter can overwhelm the brain, making it harder to focus and process information. Essentially, when your space is in chaos, your mind struggles to function efficiently (McMains & Kastner, 2011).
And it doesn’t stop there, Gem. Depression often leads to executive dysfunction—difficulty initiating and completing tasks. This means something as simple as putting away clothes or washing a few dishes can feel like climbing Mount Everest.
A cluttered space isn’t just about misplaced objects, it can also translate to neglecting yourself. When depression sets in, everyday self-care tasks like showering, brushing your hair, or even drinking enough water can feel exhausting. A study published in BMC Psychiatry highlights that self-neglect is a common symptom of depression, particularly in those experiencing severe episodes (Bennett et al., 2016). It’s not about laziness but more about the mental exhaustion that makes even the smallest tasks feel impossible.
If this all sounds familiar, take a deep breath, center yourself, and consider these tips that have helped others and myself.
Start small: Don’t try to tackle everything at once. Pick one tiny task like cleaning a countertop, making your bed, or putting away a few things. Small wins build momentum. Use the “Two-Minute Rule”: If something takes less than two minutes (like throwing away trash or wiping a surface), do it immediately.
Make self-care part of the routine: Even if it’s just washing your face or changing your shirt, small acts of care help shift your mindset. Ask for help: Depression thrives in isolation. If possible, ask a friend or loved one to help you tidy up or keep you company while you do it. Most of all, be gentle with yourself: Healing isn’t linear.
Some days will be harder than others, and that’s okay. Progress, not perfection.
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Gem, share this with someone who needs a reminder that our spaces don’t define our worth. And even in the mess, we are still deserving of care, love, and grace.
Until next time, be kind to yourself. You deserve it. - K.M.
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